The other day, a friend of mine posted the following question on her FB: "activists and social change-driven people: do you use negative personal experiences and anger and channel these to make change? how?"
In answering her question, I realized something incredibly important: being optimistic is very hard, but it's also very important.
In my life, pessimism manifests in many forms, but the most insidious is the subtle and self-serving belief that people are bad, and that they cannot change. I first adopted this belief in elementary school, and throughout adolescence I wore it like a shield. If someone disappointed me, they were out of the club. Fini. Kaput. Etc. I was an island, happy being alone.
Except that I wasn't. And the older I get, the less I can maintain that illusion to myself or anyone else.
When you believe that people are bad, you certainly save yourself some heartache. You save yourself the incredibly humiliating experience of rejection, of asking for more and being denied. But you miss a great deal more.
The same is true of general optimism. In the face of a world that is disappointing and unfair, it is easy to say: Forget it. This will never change. Let me do what I can for myself and forget about everyone else.
But negativity, anger, and hurt are not emotions that change the world for the better. They are isolating, and in my experience, people who indulge them too much end up lonely, angry and scared. On the other hand, when I tell myself that people are good - that examples of goodness and courage also exist around me - I find that I want to reach out and improve the world. Every positively impactful action I've ever taken - whether it's starting a nonprofit or teaching in a slum school - has been an act of faith and an act of optimism. A belief that things can improve, and that one person's bad decisions - or even a thousand people's bad decisions - are not a global destiny.
Part of this philosophy means surrounding myself with optimistic and positive people - those who open themselves up to change, who take risks, who embrace opportunity, and who treat others with dignity. People like that are rare, and frankly, possibly a bit demented. The history of the world is one of extreme injustice and continuing disparity, and fighting that tide is a noble and exhausting endeavor. But these are also people who have courage, empathy and energy.
Increasingly, I find myself at personal crossroads: moments when I can choose not my destiny, but the way I choose to view the world. Choosing optimism is scary because it means accepting that your life can be better - but that you have to take responsibility for getting there. And getting there will probably suck really hard. It will not be easy.
The same is true of the world. It is hard to be optimistic about the future because it means that suddenly we bear responsibility for getting there. But I believe - and I think evidence supports - the contention that people who change the world for the better (and whom we remember) are people who choose optimism, and who choose not to live in fear.
In answering her question, I realized something incredibly important: being optimistic is very hard, but it's also very important.
In my life, pessimism manifests in many forms, but the most insidious is the subtle and self-serving belief that people are bad, and that they cannot change. I first adopted this belief in elementary school, and throughout adolescence I wore it like a shield. If someone disappointed me, they were out of the club. Fini. Kaput. Etc. I was an island, happy being alone.
Except that I wasn't. And the older I get, the less I can maintain that illusion to myself or anyone else.
When you believe that people are bad, you certainly save yourself some heartache. You save yourself the incredibly humiliating experience of rejection, of asking for more and being denied. But you miss a great deal more.
The same is true of general optimism. In the face of a world that is disappointing and unfair, it is easy to say: Forget it. This will never change. Let me do what I can for myself and forget about everyone else.
But negativity, anger, and hurt are not emotions that change the world for the better. They are isolating, and in my experience, people who indulge them too much end up lonely, angry and scared. On the other hand, when I tell myself that people are good - that examples of goodness and courage also exist around me - I find that I want to reach out and improve the world. Every positively impactful action I've ever taken - whether it's starting a nonprofit or teaching in a slum school - has been an act of faith and an act of optimism. A belief that things can improve, and that one person's bad decisions - or even a thousand people's bad decisions - are not a global destiny.
Part of this philosophy means surrounding myself with optimistic and positive people - those who open themselves up to change, who take risks, who embrace opportunity, and who treat others with dignity. People like that are rare, and frankly, possibly a bit demented. The history of the world is one of extreme injustice and continuing disparity, and fighting that tide is a noble and exhausting endeavor. But these are also people who have courage, empathy and energy.
Increasingly, I find myself at personal crossroads: moments when I can choose not my destiny, but the way I choose to view the world. Choosing optimism is scary because it means accepting that your life can be better - but that you have to take responsibility for getting there. And getting there will probably suck really hard. It will not be easy.
The same is true of the world. It is hard to be optimistic about the future because it means that suddenly we bear responsibility for getting there. But I believe - and I think evidence supports - the contention that people who change the world for the better (and whom we remember) are people who choose optimism, and who choose not to live in fear.
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