I'm home again! It's a short and unexpected trip, but I've already managed to remember a few key things:
1. Stop stressing out. I'll support this point with a vague anecdote. Sometimes, you reach a point where you have to make a decision or don't know what you want. Maybe you're mired in unhappiness because you're trying to force something that isn't natural or just isn't happening at the pace you'd like. Maybe you've built up an opportunity in your head but it isn't actually the path to what you want. Being around my family relaxes me and makes me happy. Even when we fight, it's the easiest thing in the world. It draws me out of whatever weird funk I'm in. For the past twenty-four hours, I've been wandering around my parents' house, hugging my portable heater, playing the piano and reading the theatre listings in the Washington Post. It's so nice to be around things that unconsciously make me happy, and to be reminded that it's all going to work out and it's going to be okay.
Sometimes, when struggling with a big decision, the best question to ask is: what easily and unconsciously makes me happy? Do I feel pressured into something? Do I feel like what I'm about to do is going to expand my options?
And sometimes, the best thing is to not think about it all. To do completely unrelated things that make me happy. And suddenly the right path becomes clear. For example, I've been really stressed out over a few things in Delhi, and being home has really just reminded me to relax and not worry about it. I'm going to have a hundred opportunities to be happy, and that's a great position to be in.
One of my best friends recently told me (on Facebook!): "Anika -- I mean this as a friend. You need to relax. You will be happy. But if you overthink things, you will kill it." A really good friend - and the kind of person worth having in your life - is the kind of person who says stuff like that. Who relaxes you and makes you have fun, even if you initially resist. People who stress you out, who make you behave in a way that takes you further from whom you want to be, or are not easy to be around: are not worth being around.
2. Focus on happiness, not measureable achievement. A lot of people feel like they somehow automatically deserve happiness. This is just not the case. I was talking with a friend. She's recently started working as a volunteer in a hospital occupational therapy ward. I've honestly never heard her sound so happy or so confident about herself. But she only found her passion when she focused on making the people around her happier. And that in turn led her to what made her happy.
Creating capacity in other people is the number one key to creating it in yourself. In my current job, I'm responsible for organizing training sessions for our staff and creating institutions that deliver digital stories. Along the way, I've discovered what I really like doing in life. But I don't think that would have been possible if I weren't interacting with other people to create meaningful change. As a result, I've accomplished a lot - and from a measurable perspective, I have done really, really well. But that came later. There's no point in trying to do things the other way around.
Or to re-interpret the famous Steve Jobs: find what easily and unconsciously makes you happy. Everything else will follow.
1. Stop stressing out. I'll support this point with a vague anecdote. Sometimes, you reach a point where you have to make a decision or don't know what you want. Maybe you're mired in unhappiness because you're trying to force something that isn't natural or just isn't happening at the pace you'd like. Maybe you've built up an opportunity in your head but it isn't actually the path to what you want. Being around my family relaxes me and makes me happy. Even when we fight, it's the easiest thing in the world. It draws me out of whatever weird funk I'm in. For the past twenty-four hours, I've been wandering around my parents' house, hugging my portable heater, playing the piano and reading the theatre listings in the Washington Post. It's so nice to be around things that unconsciously make me happy, and to be reminded that it's all going to work out and it's going to be okay.
Sometimes, when struggling with a big decision, the best question to ask is: what easily and unconsciously makes me happy? Do I feel pressured into something? Do I feel like what I'm about to do is going to expand my options?
And sometimes, the best thing is to not think about it all. To do completely unrelated things that make me happy. And suddenly the right path becomes clear. For example, I've been really stressed out over a few things in Delhi, and being home has really just reminded me to relax and not worry about it. I'm going to have a hundred opportunities to be happy, and that's a great position to be in.
One of my best friends recently told me (on Facebook!): "Anika -- I mean this as a friend. You need to relax. You will be happy. But if you overthink things, you will kill it." A really good friend - and the kind of person worth having in your life - is the kind of person who says stuff like that. Who relaxes you and makes you have fun, even if you initially resist. People who stress you out, who make you behave in a way that takes you further from whom you want to be, or are not easy to be around: are not worth being around.
2. Focus on happiness, not measureable achievement. A lot of people feel like they somehow automatically deserve happiness. This is just not the case. I was talking with a friend. She's recently started working as a volunteer in a hospital occupational therapy ward. I've honestly never heard her sound so happy or so confident about herself. But she only found her passion when she focused on making the people around her happier. And that in turn led her to what made her happy.
Creating capacity in other people is the number one key to creating it in yourself. In my current job, I'm responsible for organizing training sessions for our staff and creating institutions that deliver digital stories. Along the way, I've discovered what I really like doing in life. But I don't think that would have been possible if I weren't interacting with other people to create meaningful change. As a result, I've accomplished a lot - and from a measurable perspective, I have done really, really well. But that came later. There's no point in trying to do things the other way around.
Or to re-interpret the famous Steve Jobs: find what easily and unconsciously makes you happy. Everything else will follow.
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