Sunday, September 5, 2010

When conventional wisdom isn't

Science: systematically acquired knowledge that is verifiable - Definitions of Anthropological Terms


Jugaad: literally means an arrangement or a work around, which has to be used because of lack of resources - Wikipedia


I often get invited to submit papers to peer-reviewed scientific journals.  (cue laughter)  Usually, these solicitations come from outlets I don't recognize, like the Journal of Molecular Neurodegeneration, rather than from Nature.


But on behalf of at least half of the Indian population, I think we need to acknowledge some papers in a category hitherto unrecognized by any esteemed scientific publication.  This field deals with that area where fantasy and reality occasional and imperfectly meet.  Where necessity gives birth to invention.  I am referring to the fine meld of two great international institutions: science and jugaad.  Or more simply put, jugaad science.


Of course, jugaad science is only distantly related to actual science.  Imagine that one day, in the middle of pouring rain, you see a crime committed across the street from you.  Ten years later, the police think they've cracked the case.  They come to you to pick the perpetrator of that long ago crime out of a lineup.  Although you've since gone blind, you wave your finger in the direction of the lineup and single out an unfortunate soul.


"That's the one," you say, and the authorities cart him off to the electric chair.


Yes, jugaad science is as likely to be scientific as that man is likely to have been the criminal.


But I digress.  The other day, I signed up to take a shared taxi from my office to my house.  While waiting for the other passengers to arrive, I put my things in the car and shut the door.  The driver immediately stuck his head out of the window.


"Madam, please, shut the door gently!" he reprimanded me.  Shame-faced, I nodded.


Later, when I got into the car, I had occasion to shut the door again.  He immediately let out a string of curses.


"You're going to break the door!  I've told you time and again not to slam the door but you never listen," he swore, in the tone of an irate father addressing a child who refuses to stop eating insects and burping at the dinner table.  "If this were your own car, you would never do that!  But since it's not your car, you don't care."


I was tempted to respond with logic - I weigh about 120 pounds at my heaviest, and I'm about as likely to break a commercial car door as I am to scale Everest without oxygen.  Instead I calmly ducked my head and nodded.


"Okay," I said, hiding my inner turmoil behind a mask of civility.  I thought he was a nut job.


But the next week, in another shared taxi, a similar event happened.  It started to rain.  The driver, alarmed, immediately turned to us.


"Shut your windows immediately!" he raved, taking his eyes off the road for a dangerous several minutes.  "The water will fall into the window crack and ruin the engine."


A cursory glance around the Internet reveals that although deep monsoon rains are terrible for cars, this particular concern is about as scientifically sound as the Caveman diet.


Although cars seem to be the most developed field of jugaad research, a lot of time and energy has also gone into the jugaad logic behind food.


For example, an aunt of mine recently spent a lot of time explaining to me why ghee is better for your health than oil - all the while slathering ghee onto a set of biscuits like a Mad Hatter on a binge.  A quick inquiry into the University of the Internet shows that ghee is clarified butter, ie, lard's vegetarian cousin.  Ghee is about as healthy as seppuku, although Japanese ritual suicide is significantly faster-acting.


There's also a wealth of jugaad science related to marriage and reproduction.  One persistent rumor is that people who marry late are doomed to "never adjust" to their partner, leading to a lifetime of marital misery.  The fact that generations of Indian grandmothers have managed to crack the mystery of when to marry is shocking, I know.  What's even more shocking is that these sagacious Aunties are unemployed, rather than pulling down millions on the Executive Board of eHarmony.  Someone better tell Dr. Phil, the patron saint of relationship science jugaad, that he's been scooped. I'm sure he'll give up his million-dollar talk show deals for a life of brewing chai, harassing his grand-daughters and hollering at the servants any day now.


But let's not forget the ultimate jugaad science - religion!


The other day, while doing his homework, my 10-year-old cousin turned to his mother.


"Mom," said the erstwhile scholar, "who was the first man on Earth?"


She put down her teacup and her tabloid and fixed him with a beady glare.


"You know that," she said, steadily.  "It was Adam."


Which, in a Hindu household in a majority Hindu country, just about sums it up.

1 comment:

  1. Jugaad Science - what an amazing idea nd nomenclature! I hope it takes off, and makes its way into wiki, Urban dictionary as well as the Webster!!!!

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